My daughter came home today coming from a shopping trip from the mall. She told me she had a hard time looking for a greeting card for her stepdad (well, soon to be legal). You see every Father's day my kids have that dilemna of honoring two dads. It's not like I gave birth to two different kids from 2 different men. (Not to offend some women in that situation) but in my current state, my kids have gotten to recognize my long time fiance to be their 2nd dad. They are still close to their real dad but since in our situation they see my fiance more than their dad, they have gotten so close to him like a real dad. Hence, my daughter is wondering "Why doesn't hallmark make cards for Stepdads? All I see is Tatay, Itay, Papa..no stepdad"
I found the scenario cute and alarming at the same time. Father's day is so near yet I realized, not all father's are given their due respect. In today's society, it is not uncommon for children to have stepdads. I risk myself being bashed by moralists but that is the reality that we face today. Some are adoptive parents, like the one I grew up with. He is the only father I knew (well, if we count my ex father in law and my father in law thru my new husband to be--that will make 3 dads...so confusing).
Fathers are fathers...and they don't have to be biological. They are fathers in the true sense once they start acting like one. They are the silent pillars of the family. They provide the strength that keeps the family together...either by their Hitler like rule or by their commanding silence. Every father is different, each has their own style. But in whatever way, they are very endearing to each one of us for without them, we won't exist to be.
The Father who brought me up in this world is not my biological dad but he means more to me than the physical dad who gave me my genes. By twist of fate, he passed away a day before my birthday two years ago. Every year I'm faced with that thought of whether I should think that my dad chose that day to die so I won't be so sad on my birthday. Nevertheless, I am still sad and I miss him dearly. I have a lot of wonderful memories of him - both the happy ones and not so happy ones.
I remember him as the man who would put his pajama top on top of my blanket during a cold morning while we were in Baguio (so i will have extra warmth). He had a great sense of humor and played the harmonica a lot. As a kid, we'd watch sunday movies in Escolta (oops, no Glorietta 4 yet that time). And he would make me baon a whole bunch of warm buttered pan de sal. (which is until now my favorite).
Thru him I learned generosity, patience, the virtue of silence (well, when he had fights with mom hehe) and love for family. And from him I inherited my temper. I can go on being mad at someone for years and give them the longest silent treatment. He was like that. You will have to be patient to win him over again. But once you do, he's the sweetest person on earth. I spent the last few weekends with him just hanging around his room and watching old DVDs of Charlie Chaplin. Even if he did not say much, just holding his hand was language enough.
So who said fathers had to be the same blood? I had the pleasure of knowing a father who was a great man and a very good one to me.
With my kids now, I see some resemblances of my dad in Gabby. They are both soft spoken, quiet but intelligent men, over flowing with humility and love for their children. Gabby loves listening to old school music on Sunday afternoons, just like my dad. And he has a gentle way of reprimanding me or the kids when something goes wrong. He keeps a calm exterior when all the others are in panic. But he does have a mean temper when he runs out of patience. He rarely will say harsh words but when he does it cuts precisely like a surgical knife.
I read somewhere that women fall in love with a man that reminds them most about their dad...
I do believe so.
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